the relentless tide
keeps lapping me
pounding me
the day comes in
the night goes out
in
out
in
out
over and over
such fast
passing
i can't get
my breath
can't wrap 
my head around
the speed of things
can't see over 
the ridge
can't seem to 
get ahead
can't seem to
even stay
in the same place
tide pulls me
back back back
towards the
end of my days
like a roller coaster
racing
like a race boat
soaring
i'm flying
towards the finish line
nothing's slowing me down
and then that sleep comes
and steals my hours more
and i think, oh god
when will i get it all done
and where's all those landmarks
i was supposed to see 
and stop for
and what happened to my
youth
and where'd the old
childhood go
and how did i make it here
already
how did i make it here
already
and yet still find myself
so behind
so behind
so behind
and alone
this thing called time
keeps beating me
over the head
my arms flail and reach for
a branch to hold on to
to keep me from getting 
ahead of myself
and my life
as it is swirling by
so quickly
so quickly
so quickly
it all goes
goes
goes
and where's the pauser
and when do i get to
stop and take it in
and isn't it so true
oh, thornton wilder
that we never truly
appreciate it 
while we're here.

youth is embarrassing
and beautiful
you don't know enough yet
to be embarrassed by it
and though it's ever passing
you feel it in slow motion
as if each and every beat is
everlasting
the stakes are so high
you feel like you can fly
indestructible
special
extraordinary
the limit exceeds the sky
your youth stretches out
in the middle of the night
cozy, like a pie
so happy you could die
hard knocks roll off your back
you bounce back
easily
your gawkiness is awkward
and unsettling
to those past the tide
your inhibitions and goofy looks
sit raw in the stomachs of
older brothers
you can't help it
and don't care to
until the day your youthdom dies
the bounce ceases to rise quite as high
you look in the mirror and see all the flaws
you stand agape in halls
as others find you foreign
and you yourself agree with them
who is this beast?
and what is this body you dare to strut around in?
nothing is good
nothing is right
anger comes over you
unrelenting sadness
and even though your life
hasn't suddenly plummeted to the very pits of hell
you feel it has
and a grand injustice been served you
your youth is fleeting, leaving you
your death, surely imminent
nothing will be the same
as those hot, summer, youth filled days
you're growing older
bills gotta get paid
you gotta look the look of your days
you gotta be a certain kinda way
or that age old embarrassment is gonna
come back to haunt you

that person
place
and thing
show up
unannounced
unforeseen
the arrival is happening
---but perhaps not?
unknowable future
taunts three jaunts ahead of you
the person is unpredictable as yet
and may or may not be at the place
and may or may not illicit that same
thing 
that was just beginning to be brought up
there is sudden vomit forming
don't worry
it's just the slow torture
preceding
the imminent arrival
of love.