Andie Bottrell
Find Andie:
  • Home
  • Acting
  • Writing
  • Photography
  • Art
  • Video
  • Music
  • Games
  • Blog
  • Love + Kindness

remember where your life is

11/17/2013

0 Comments

 
there are things we must do for money
and these things are rarely enjoyable
there are things we must do for health
things that feel uncomfortable
but these things are not your life
these are incidentals that must be done
to sustain you
your life is in the moments 
you dare to make your own
when you follow what your heart says
and leap and jump in rhythm with your soul
when you soar in love and passion for the things
that bring you joy
this is your life
the one you will remember
if you invest in it fully
every chance you get
and remember that the incidentals
only are there to support your living
and not the other way around

—never forget.



0 Comments

Tremor // office poems

11/17/2013

0 Comments

 
Tremor fills the arithmetic
My veins run green and blue
I pulse in terror at cruising speeds
My sitting soul sits dead

Dread fills up the morning dew
The coffee heats and makes to heal
I enter cube space with lengthened pause
My head in tense succession falls

When comes the closing bell I guffaw
At last made, but not yet at all
For at home lays work more and more
And in heart, still more and more

Where’s time and do I just let it go
No mention of the losses, no
Just focus on the gains and hope
In time it goes and comes around

We hope it comes around again

0 Comments

I Will Have To Watch This

11/15/2013

0 Comments

 
germs germs everywhere
coughing, spewing
everyone
droplets of disease falling on my skin
i wince and flinch and
resist running for cover
(it is so, so hard)
never have i been so aware of the germs, germs everywhere
and watching the journey of each germ from the initial contamination to
the multiple infectants
i try to remain normal and focus on the job at hand
even as my insides curdle and i imagine bathing in
bleach at home

the snot he keeps on rolling, hacking, and rolling
the bits that fly out from him as he leans over
controlling my unlearned hand 
i am so completely grossed out
i hold my breath 
i will have to watch this to make sure it does not become a problem
both the germs
and my sudden fear of them


three license plates
i started memorizing license plates as i drove home from work
just to see if i could
it quickly became addicting
i will keep doing this
the first one was H59 5830 black chevy malibu max
the second was DC4 R5R purple Chevrolet car
the third was 5MC 079 red truck


mom asked, "why don't you ever finish the last two bits of drinks and things?"
"that's where the poison is," i said


at the grocery store i pointed at some funny vegetable and laughed
i touched it and said, "this feels like an old, shriveled penis."
mom laughed and we began our journey to the next aisle
when she looked back i had returned to the penis vegetable
to touch it with my other hand

0 Comments

The US vs YOU Epidemic

11/7/2013

0 Comments

 
I've recently become aware of an epidemic and I think you should become aware of it too. I think this epidemic has infected many of our families and communities, our government, our country, and at times, the entire world. There is a cure and the cure is easy to say, but harder to do. It is also necessary if we really want to build a better world for our future. And I haven't yet met anyone who thought everything was going along swimmingly in the world, just the way things were- have you?

Here is the issue: OURSELVES. We keep creating divisions instead of creating constructive discussions. What's worse is we create divisions and then pass them down to our children and over to our friends like a communicable disease and once we've identified ourselves or been identified by someone else as a member of a specific, so-called division, we then experience the knee-jerk need to defend our division and accuse the other division at all costs. This is a very unattractive and harmful symptom of an overwhelmingly hostile epidemic called US vs YOU.

Some people are so far gone in this epidemic as to have lost the ability to see fellow humans as fellow humans and instead only see the approved facetious adjectives their division has assigned to a rival division. You hear terribly offensive name-calling and personal attacks. You hear false statements proclaiming to be facts. You see friendships and families torn apart. You see unspeakable violence and anonymous people yelling obscenities at other anonymous people over computers, finding ways to bridge a gap of half the world in distance, only to shatter it with a total lack of willingness to try to understand each other.

What divisions do you belong to? Republican? Democrat? Atheist? Muslim? Christian? American? Israeli? Mexican? The 1%? The 99%? How has it effected the way you communicate with someone from another "division"? Do you feel yourself immediately going on the defensive? Find yourself prone to using derogatory nick-names, racial-slurs, and throwing statistical facts out (with links, no less!) without first taking the time to research and understand how statistics work and what the "other divisions" statistics may say? If so, you have likely been infected by the US vs YOU epidemic and should begin treatment immediately as you are contributing to the downfall of society.

I realize that last sentence may be taken as exaggeration, but know that it is meant sincerely. You may be feeling your insides begin to clinch and find your defenses heightened as I have switched from using the inclusive and non-divisory "us" and "we" to using "I" and "you." I have created a division between us now and it is only natural that you begin to feel a need to defend whatever it is I may be attacking about you. I am not going to attack you, though, so you may relax. In fact, I have been infected by this epidemic as well. I am in treatment now and writing this is one part of my treatment. 

When we cling to our divisions so tightly that we stop seeing the humanity in our fellow divisions, we have ceased evolving as a species and turned into a self-destructive time bomb. When Democrats and Republicans see themselves firstly as Democrats and Republicans instead of simply humans, they stop working for what humanity needs and instead work to defeat each other and by doing so cease benefiting humanity. When churches and mosques and temples see each other as blasphemous competition, they cease being of service to people and instead put people in danger of the kind of ignorant piety that breeds extremists. When we exaggerate facts to make our points heard, or knee-jerk a defense we were armed with second-hand, or expel cruel bashes about public figures in opposing divisions, we cease using the many, amazing capabilities we've been given as human beings- to learn, to understand, to have empathy, to be inclusive, to have patience, to admit a short coming, to ask for help, to hear someone else's perspective in full and respect their perspective and put ourselves in their shoes and ask questions instead of jump to down-putting and name-calling. We as human beings have the capacity to be better human beings than we have been!

From our Facebook feed to Yahoo comments to family dinner to political rallies, it's time to let go of our divisions. It's time to take up our similarity as humans who can be better humans and start working through our lives from a place of inclusivity. We must make a commitment- and this is the hard part- to lay down our knee-jerk defenses and pride and instead start from a place of humility. We must agree to cease all name-calling full stop as it is only ever negative and toxic to all involved. We must agree to only enter into dialogues with the intent to GAIN understanding and not to attack. We must agree that there will be many times when we will fail to understand each other, but must not let this keep us from trying or allow this failure to give us a false illusion of "rights" to put the other party down. If we do these things, we will be a more productive, supportive, nurturing, happier, and healthier society.

Society is a big place and I know that I can't do it by myself and that you can't do it by yourself and even just the two of us can't do it by ourselves. It's going to take all of us, doing the best we can individually to make our society the best it can be. It is my belief that leading by example is the best way to get your point across. Sometimes writing a blog helps, but only if you also practice what you preach. It's going to be hard to get rid of old habits. We will have set backs. It's going to be hard to let go of divisions. It's going to be really, really hard to see ourselves without all of those labels, but I think that the sooner we do, the less angry we will feel and the easier it will be to talk with a wider range of people on a wider range of topics in a much more enjoyable, stimulating and conducive manner. We'll probably make a lot more friends, too. And if we're lucky, we might just learn a thing or two that we didn't know before!
0 Comments

Paintings, Poems and Philosophical Isms - A WRITING EXERCISE!

11/4/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
Spring 1977, 206 x 306 cm "For me, the purpose of art is to expand man's conceptual world. I am thinking of 'Spring' and that form in which I painted the picture. The idea was to give homosexuality a larger and richer meaning, to give a basic picture of what it is to be homosexual" Odd Nerdrum, Bilder, 1983.
Picture
by Pablo Neruda
Philosophical Isms: anthropomorphism, bonism, nihilism, positivism, absurdism.

RULES: Use the painting as inspiration for your main character(s) and setting. 

Read the poem "Your Hands" and pick two lines to use in your piece. 

Use one or more philosophical ism as either a word or theme. 

This may be a short story, poem, play or screenplay. 

Write for 20 minutes. Edit for 15 minutes. 

Title and author and e-mail to andiebottrell(at)yahoo(dot)com and I will post it below.

---*
DEEP
by Andie Bottrell

Mr. Rigley was married to Anita Rigley for 47 years. Every day after work he would walk the cobblestone streets through the city’s main square passing men just like him- working, well-dressed and well-respected husbands going home to their wives. The day after day routine didn’t bother him much. He was able to find joy in the little things like the perfect combination of the sun’s warmth and a cool breeze. He was grateful to see and hear the birds sing, to smell the scents of the bakers baking, and to observe the children playing.

Mr. and Mrs. Rigley were never able to conceive. This was a sore and painful subject for Anita, and while Mr. Rigley sympathized with his wife, he never had any deep seated longings for offspring. The fact of the matter was, that until recently, Mr. Rigley had not ever been aware of any deep seated longings of any kind, for anything. He was the picture of contentment at all times. This is the sort of thing that may have bothered some wives- the kind who enjoy dissecting and disrespecting rival ladies and enjoy a good enemy tale to wash down their suppers. Mrs. Rigley was no such woman, however, and as such they made for a very compatible match.

It was unfortunate then, on October 5th, as Mr. Rigley returned home from work, that he found her stabbed to death in their angelically lit kitchen, mid spaghetti dish. The shock caught him woefully off guard and he stumbled back out onto the street, hand over mouth, eyes refusing to close- caught in a sight they could not unsee. His heels tripped over the cobblestones and he fell into the arms of Neil Harrison, who was still in his army fatigues, a small bundle over his shoulder, a wound on his left leg. As Neil straightened Mr. Rigley back up to posture, he recognized the look of horror on his face and immediately took his hand and pulled it in to his heart. Neil studied Mr. Rigley’s eyes upon his own and his hand clutched all the tighter as his heart pounded like a Morse code replying to an S.O.S.

In this strange moment of sudden loss and shock, Mr. Rigley began to feel the beginnings of an inner longing so deep seated and unaware that to acknowledge it would be to whisper answers to questions that had not yet and never would be asked. Time seemed to stop and circumstances suspend and through Mr. Rigley’s mind passed an observation meekly and with great awe, “Why do I recognize them as if then, before, I had touched them?” His hands clenched Neil’s back, in gratitude for salvation.  The thought was purely absurd- impossible even- and yet, despite it all he was positive. A wind of change was stirring in him, deeper than he’d known he could go. And while his waters grieved within, a sun was rising with pointed strength and new passion upon the gay golden horizon.

---*

 
0 Comments

NOVEMBER: 4 Creative Goals

11/1/2013

0 Comments

 
Picture
0 Comments

    About

    Hey! I'm Andie Bottrell, a multidisciplinary creative living in Springfield, MO. I share stories (autobiographical and fictional), poems, and other creative or personal musings here. 

    Archives

    September 2020
    August 2020
    January 2020
    October 2019
    July 2019
    May 2019
    April 2019
    February 2019
    January 2019
    October 2018
    July 2018
    June 2018
    May 2018
    April 2018
    March 2018
    February 2018
    January 2018
    December 2017
    November 2017
    October 2017
    September 2017
    August 2017
    July 2017
    June 2017
    May 2017
    April 2017
    March 2017
    January 2017
    December 2016
    October 2016
    September 2016
    August 2016
    July 2016
    June 2016
    May 2016
    April 2016
    March 2016
    February 2016
    January 2016
    December 2015
    November 2015
    October 2015
    September 2015
    July 2015
    June 2015
    May 2015
    April 2015
    March 2015
    February 2015
    January 2015
    December 2014
    November 2014
    October 2014
    September 2014
    August 2014
    July 2014
    June 2014
    May 2014
    April 2014
    March 2014
    December 2013
    November 2013
    October 2013
    September 2013
    July 2013
    June 2013
    May 2013
    April 2013

    Categories

    All
    Goals
    One Act
    One-act
    Photo
    Play
    Poetry
    Short Story
    Thoughts
    Writing Exercises

    RSS Feed

Powered by Create your own unique website with customizable templates.