This one-act was written as part of The Vagrancy's Rituals: A Bacchanalia (24 hour play festival). I received the above prompt with my theme (Fear), my image, and a sentence I would have to use in the play. I was also assigned a director and two actors and given their headshots. I received all of this at 8pm on Friday evening and had to turn the play in no later than 8am on Saturday morning for the actors and director to begin rehearsing. And at 8pm Saturday night they performed it to a packed house! It was a terrific experience!

FEAR by Andie Bottrell

SETTING: Lucinda’s Stomach - Current Day

CHARACTERS:

GARY SINTARY - Middle-aged, low self-esteem, rageful tendencies, always serious, husband of Lucinda.

MIKE O’TOOL - Middle-aged, always smiling, a nervous giggler, excited about everything everything everything, is having an affair with Lucinda.


ACT I

A middle-aged man, GARY SINTARY, slides onto stage with great force, as if having just plummeted down a great depth. He screams as he lands and examines the dark empty space with equal parts horror and confusion. He also examines himself to make sure he is not injured- checking his limbs and head.

GARY
Are you kidding me?! ARE YOU KIDDING ME. You fucking ATE ME!? HEY! HEY!

He pounds on the walls and floors.

GARY
LET ME OUT OF HERE! Lucinda! Lucidna, you let me out of here right this minute! If you don't open up that big yapper of yours and burp me up right this minute I'll- I'll... Well, I'll tell you what I'll do... I'll...

He frantically looks around.

GARY
I'm gonna...

He finds a chair, holds it up, looks at it, considers options, slams it down and as he does so hits his funny bone. He yelps and rubs it.

GARY
Oh! Funny bone!

His face shows the inner workings of an idea.

GARY
Funny bone. Funny bone- Hey, Lucinda! You still chronically ticklish? Hey, let's find out!

He lifts a finger and begins to tickle the walls and floor. He tickles more and more, gaining confidence in his plan.

GARY
Remember our wedding night? Every time I touched you, you erupted into a fit of laughter, your body convulsing- contorting in ticklish discomfort. Yeah, it was cute that first time, but after that it just got frustrating as HELL!

A scream fast approaches and suddenly another middle-aged man, MIKE O'TOOL, enters the same way as Gary, and barges into him.

The two men stare at each other for several moments, like a pair of wild animals encountering each other in the wild.

Mike eventually extends his hand.

MIKE
Mike O'Tool.

Gary does the same.

GARY
Gary Sintary.

MIKE
Oh, Gary! I've heard of you. Neat. Yeah. Neat. I'm Mike! (pause) Mike.

Gary shakes his head.

GARY
Sorry. How do you know Lucinda?

MIKE
Oh, well... (he laughs)

GARY
What's so funny?

MIKE
Nothing, it's just.... it's a little awkward is all.

GARY
Yeah.

They both look around.

MIKE
I thought it'd be slimier in here! You know, gooey? Bloody? Something!

GARY
Yeah. So, how do you know Lucinda?

MIKE
Oh- uh, well... (he laughs) We're sort of dating.

GARY
You and Lucinda?

MIKE
Yeah. Yeah. She's sweet, isn't she?

GARY
Yeah.

MIKE
And legs for days, huh?

GARY
Uh huh.

MIKE
And those breasts...

GARY
Right.

MIKE
But I tell you what- it's the personality that I love the most. That's a prize winning personality she's got. Hey- you ever notice how she's ticklish on every part of her body?

Gary stares at him.

MIKE
Like- like, you could be stroking her hair and she'll burst out laughing! It's so adorable. Ah, yeah, she's the cutest, huh?

GARY
Yeah. (pause) Listen, here, buddy.

MIKE
It's Mike. Mike!

GARY
Mike. Right.

Gary pulls Mike close and under his arm, gripping him tightly.

GARY
She's mine, Mike. You got that? Mine. You see this? You see this? Huh?

Gary shows him his wedding ring. Mike struggles to get away.

MIKE
Oh, sure. Eh, sure. No, she- and I want you to know this- she told be about you. Oh yeah. She was upright and straight with me. Yeah. And hey, she really likes you. She really does. Well...

He looks around.

MIKE
She liked you, anyway. What did you do?

GARY
What do you mean?

MIKE
Well, I mean, she wouldn't just eat you for no reason, right? Like, me? I know why she ate me. Saw it comin' a mile away. Don't know why I came anyway. Must have been that prize winning personality- couldn't stay away! Am I right? Am I right?

GARY
Yeah. The personality.

MIKE
So, what happened?

Gary looks around. Mike looks around. Gary sits, defeated with a sigh. Mike nods and sits next to him.

GARY
She caught me with another woman.

MIKE
Another woman? Oh, shit man.

GARY
Yeah. But now- NOW!

He gestures at Mike.

MIKE
Right! She had no right to eat you when she's- she's no better! She's sneaking off with me- despicable. Just disgusting. It's disgusting's what it is!

GARY
And I-

MIKE
No right! She's got no right, Gary. What she did to you... shameful.

GARY
It's just that I haven't been feeling very-

Mike puts his finger to Gary's lips.

MIKE
Let me guess. You were about to say "sexy" weren't you? That's what you were gonna say, weren't you? "Sexy."

GARY
Well, not exactly-

MIKE
You don't feel attractive anymore, Gary. And that's a problem. That's a problem because you're a very attractive man. I mean, GOD, look at you! Just look at you!

Gary looks down.

MIKE
Yeah! Come on and stand up- let's get a better view of that magnificent man meat you've got going on there.

Gary hesitently stands and Mike spins him around.

MIKE
Yeah, Gary! You listen to me- you do not let this woman defeat you. You are a sexy ass man, okay? Say it!

GARY
I'm sexy.

MIKE
Say it louder! Make her hear it! I'M A SEXY ASS MAN!

GARY
I'M A SEXY ASS MAN!

MIKE
Yeah!

Mike pulls Gary close to him.

MIKE
Let me tell you something you may not realize, Gary. There is one major contributor to the middle-aged crisis, and that is sex.

GARY
Yeah.

MIKE
And let me tell you another thing. M.A.C.'s are NOT your fault. It's a disease!

GARY
M.A.C.'s?

MIKE
Middle-Aged Crisises. Yeah, just this year they got upgraded to a Disease. Not responsible, man! You're not responsible. It's the chemicals in your brain making your fuck other women, making you feel inadaquete and unsexy. 'Cause let me tell you man... I'd do you. I'd hit that. Rarrrrrrrr.

GARY
Alright! Enough- get off me!

Gary pushes Mike aside. Gary goes to the opposite side of the area. He looks over his shoulder at Mike.

GARY
Do you mind?

MIKE
What?

GARY
I'd like a little privacy with my wife.

MIKE
Oh, oh sure. I'll just...

He covers his ears and hums.

GARY
Lucinda. Lucinda! Listen, I know I haven't been an ideal husband lately. To be honest, you haven't exactly been an ideal wife. But listen- I don't blame you. I blame myself. I've just been feeling...

He looks back at Mike, who is staring at him, but on his glance, looks away, before carrying on.

GARY
I haven't been feeling very highly of myself lately. I mean, I haven't accomplished the things I wanted to by now. Our life- well, it's just the same every day. We wake up, we eat breakfast, we go to work, we come home, we go to bed. There's no excitement. Nothing to make you feel really alive. And I guess I needed that. I guess you needed that to. Ha, isn't that funny? Us both needing the same thing? If only we had talked with each other none of this... none of this woulda happened. Lucinda. Lucinda, I'm sorry! Would ya please burp me up? Huh, Honey? I'd hate to go the way of the... doo-doo bird.

MIKE
Dodo bird.

GARY
What?

MIKE
I think you mean Dodo Bird! Common mistake. The extinct, flightless-

GARY
(angry)
No, I mean doo-doo. Like shit? It's a play on words.

MIKE
Oh! A play on words! Oooooh. Very nice. Very nice, Gary. I like that.

GARY
Shut up!

Mike goes back to humming.

GARY
So, what do you say, Lucinda? I can forgive you. Can you forgive me?

He waits. Mike glances over anxiously. Suddnly a strong force of wind sucks Gary out the way he came with a loud BURP! Mike jumps up and looks around.

MIKE
Gary?

He looks the way Gary left.

MIKE
LUCINDA?! Hey, Lucinda! Don't forget about me! Huh?

Lights start to fade.

MIKE
Lucinda...? Gary...? Oh, doo doo!

Black out.

STOP! HOLD!
Andie Bottrell

He's tall, dark blond, thin and handsome. His fingers, long and bony. Turned sideways he hardly exists. His hair comes down just below his eyelids. His stance is often just slightly left heavy.

She's tall, but not so tall as he is. Her hair is indeterminate. Her skin is fair like his is, but slightly more flawed where his is flawless. She's got a gut around the middle. She's planted on both feet.

He walks in the front door of the apartment. She sits on the floor watching TV, leaning against the bed, eating chips out of a family sized bag. He does not acknowledge her. He sits, back to her, at the kitchen table and opens his computer to "surf" or to type or to finish work or for pleasure.

She is more aware of him than he is of her. He wants to forget his day. She wants to begin hers. Hers begins with him. After a while she shuts off the TV and puts the chips away, ashamed of them. Of herself for eating them. She stands behind him. Her hands rise and want to touch his neck, rub his shoulders, but they hesitate, unsure. Finally she touches his shoulder and he jumps.

TIM
What is it?

GLORIA
I was- I could rub your shoulders, your neck. If it's still... sore?

TIM
Oh.

GLORIA
Okay?

TIM
Yeah. Fine.

She begins.

TIM
Thanks.

GLORIA
Sure. Tough day?

TIM
I guess.

GLORIA
Yeah?

TIM
No. Not really.

GLORIA
Oh.

TIM
What did you do?

GLORIA
You know...

TIM
You should get out more.

GLORIA
You're right.

Tim closes the computer and begins to enjoy the back rub.

She stops.

Tim looks at her. She walks to the bed and lays down. Tim gets up and goes in the bathroom.

Gloria gets out of bed and takes her baggy, sloppy clothes off so that she is only in her panties.

She gets back into bed and tries to hide her gut with her pillow and the covers, unconsciously.

She waits.
And waits.
And waits.

The toilet flushes.

Tim comes back out and turns the light off and gets in bed. Never looking at her.

Pitch dark.

Gloria cries.
And cries.
And cries.

Tim snores.

Gloria gets out of bed, wraps herself in a robe and steps outside. Under a lamplight. A busy city street, now quiet with the dead night.

Gloria speaks honestly. To no one.

GLORIA
Didn't I tell ya? It's at night that I need to be held. I crave food to fill my belly up, shut my mind up, a story, a thousand stories to do the same, but still, even all together, all the food and all the stories, just ain't the same, ain't enough to equate the feeling, the full, satisfactory feeling of bein' held in the arms of the one you love. And it's been far too long since that feelin's been felt, my skin's grown cold and lonesome blue. See, I don't think I know how to even begin a day now, seeing as I never have ever truly woken up. I'm still waiting to be held, so that I can sleep soundly. Still waiting to be loved, so that I can wake up.

She walks down the street until she disappears from view.

Tim snores himself awake with a jolt and sits up. He turns the light on and feels the empty bedside. He gets out of bed and looks around. He sits back down in bed and stares straight ahead.

TIM
I don't find her attractive any more. I don't mean just physically. I don't mean the gut. I mean she's gone somewhere inside her mind and she's gone. It's not fun. It's not sexy. It's stale and don't judge me. Life's short. I'm entitled to my desires, to lightness and fun and to shallow beauty. I'll only be this young once. What am I doing here? I have to get out. I'll grow old here. I'll die here if I stay. She'll take me down with her. (pause) Anastasia. Now there was a woman worth living for. Anastasia. I wonder if she's still at the bar. Maybe it's not too late to change my mind about tonight.

He gets out of bed and gets dressed. He combs his hair, grabs his wallet and keys and heads to the door just as it opens and Gloria comes in hauling a huge, red, street STOP sign, still attached to the pole.

TIM
What on...

She pulls it into the middle of the room, sets it upright with great effort as Tim looks on in amazement, then gets back in bed. Tim looks back at her, then the sign, then her again and leaves.

Gloria looks at the door, surprised, then gets up and looks out the window. She goes over to the Stop sign and drags it in front of the front door, blocking it from opening.

She gets back in bed and turns on the TV.

The TV plays all night, even after she's fallen asleep. The TV plays.

Morning comes. The sun rises. 

Gloria denies the sun it's presence, hiding under her covers. The TV continues to play.

Tim is at the door, but it wont open with the STOP sign blocking it.

TIM
Gloria?

She will not answer him.

TIM
Gloria?

He will not beg her to answer him.

He breaks through the window and comes in and begins packing his bags.  

His bags are packed now and he looks over at her. He sets his bags by the window and sits on the bed. Sits on top of her- her who is under the covers.

She screams. He moves over and lifts the covers up. She looks at him. He looks at her.

TIM
Anastasia Billings. 4023 Iodine Lane. Please forward my mail there.

He touches her face.

TIM
I've grown to become revolted by you and I'm not sure how exactly you've done it. It's sort of amazing, considering how much I loved you in the beginning. I would have killed for you. Now... look at you.

GLORIA
You're being needlessly cruel. I know it all already.

TIM
Yes. Of course.

GLORIA
She will revolt you eventually, too. Anastasia. Whoever.

TIM
Yes. Probably.

GLORIA
It's too cruel. This love you give. I'm beginning to think the problem isn't me-

TIM
Don't be ridiculous.

GLORIA
What was it your Mother called you when you were five?

TIM
Nothing. She never called me anything ugly.

GLORIA
Selfish? You selfish little spoiled brat- wasn't it?

TIM
She was drunk off her ass. She didn't know what she was saying.

GLORIA
So it wasn't true?

TIM
Of course it was. And why shouldn't I be selfish? Who else is there?

GLORIA
Well... not any longer, but for a while, there was me.

TIM
No. There wasn't. That was your mistake. Thinking you were. See, there's never anyone. There's never anyone but you.

Gloria gets up and emphatically points at the STOP sign.

TIM
Yes. Of course. Goodbye then.

Tim starts to leave through the window and Gloria runs, drops to her knees and grabs strong hold of his legs.

TIM
Gloria. Gloria. Do grow up, dear. You'll never make it to the end if you take each departure this hard.

She holds harder. Determined. He wont go.

TIM
Gloria. I don't love you. I'm not real. I don't exist. You're alone and you've always been alone and you'll always be alone and you'll one day die alone and that piece of factuality is for you to come to peace with. Not me. I can't help you. There is nothing left for me to do- to feed your delusions.

GLORIA
Didn't I tell you? It's at night that I need to be HELD!

TIM
But, baby, dear, it's not night any more. It's day. It's daylight now. See?

He tenderly lifts her chin to see out the window. She can't believe it. She squints her eyes, still holding him.

GLORIA
It's... day now?

TIM
Yes. So see? You'll be fine for at least another 12 hours.

GLORIA
Yes. Yes...

She lets go of him and crawls back to lean against the STOP sign.

He starts to go again.

GLORIA
And then?

TIM
And then what?

GLORIA
Exactly. And then what? In 12 hours?

TIM
You'll have your stories and your food. Your food and your stories to pass the time, to comfort you.

GLORIA
How did you know? 

TIM
I lived it. Parallel you. Beside you. I saw how you live. It repulsed me, but I saw it all. Every nose wipe, every weak sexual appetite, every clumsy attempt to figure it all out.

GLORIA
You saw it all? And you didn't love me. You saw it all and now you're leaving me.

TIM
That's exactly it.

Tim leaves through the window.

GLORIA
But you were my prince charming and I was...

She looks up at the sign and points.

She stands up and screams.

GLORIA
STOP!!!!

Pitch dark.

Lights up.

Tim and Gloria sit at the table, in love as ever, picking over a full Turkey on a platter on the table.

TIM
Eat!

GLORIA
I'm not hungry!

TIM
Eat! Eat!

GLORIA
I want only you. 

They kiss.
And kiss.
And kiss.

He picks her up and her legs surround him. He takes her to the bed where they make love.

The lights fade half.

The love making is already over.

He turns the TV on. She gets out of bed and dances, seductively around the pole which turns Tim's head back to her.

He gets out of bed and goes to her once more.

They make love on the kitchen table, next to the Turkey. Tim grabs a bite at one point, during.

She slaps him playfully for it and send him to pleasure her down under.

The lights go black once more and when they come up Gloria is gone and Tim sits on the floor, hanging on to the Stop sign.

TIM
It's no use thinking about it. The greater meaning of things. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. The sex. That's something to hold on to. Right? Afterlife? War? Bombs? God? Meaning? Politics? Don't think on it. You can't change it. You can't even find it on the map of reasoning. You just gotta accept it- or don't- but you can't question it. It exists- same as you- and then... who knows. For now, there's sex.

Gloria comes in the window.

GLORIA
And what if you don't have sex? Then what?

Tim gets up and grabs the Turkey.

TIM
There's food...

And turns the TV on.

TIM
And stories...

GLORIA
So you get it? You really get me, huh? You know what I need.

Tim turns off the TV, puts down the Turkey and looks at her.

TIM
To be held.

GLORIA
At night.

TIM
Come.

GLORIA
Finally. That's right.

She walks to him. He holds her in his arms. He tries to kiss her and she stops him.

GLORIA
What do I need, Tim?

TIM
To be held.

GLORIA
At night.

They get into bed and spoon.

GLORIA
Tell me again. It's so sweat to hear it while it's being done. What do I need, Tim?

TIM
Just to be held at night.

GLORIA
And is that so much to ask, Tim? Of you? Or anyone?

TIM
No. It's not so much. It's the least we can expect.

GLORIA
And you? Do you ever need that, Tim?

TIM
Every single night. Or every other, maybe.

GLORIA
Yes, some nights can be faced alone I guess. Maybe. A few.

TIM
I like the scent of you.

GLORIA
Still? It doesn't revolt you yet? (pause) It's not mine. I bought it. It was my Mother's brand.

TIM
I'll bet I would have liked her.

GLORIA
I'll bet you would have. (pause) What are we doing here?

TIM
Ask not.

GLORIA
Yes. Just stop.

TIM
Yes. Stop.

They hold onto each other forever.

GLORIA
Does it ever feel to you that we are just waiting for the crashing of the end of times?

TIM
It occurs to me all the time. There's nothing we can do.

GLORIA
But stop.

TIM
And hold each other.

GLORIA
I thought I revolted you.

TIM
Turns out, others revolt me more.

GLORIA
Yourself included?

TIM
Of course. Myself included. You too?

GLORIA
Oh, God, yes! Me too. (pause) What time is it?

TIM
It's best, I think, for our sanity that we not continue to ask.

GLORIA
Let's turn on the TV again. I want to hear some stories.

TIM
I'll tell you one instead.

GLORIA
But can you do all the parts?

TIM
Of course.

GLORIA
Okay. (she pulls his arms tighter around her) Make it good.

Lights fade to black.

The end.