Good Morning I Love You

1.
THIS IS IT
​Meet 
me
under the
willow tree
there
i’ll be
standing
and waiting--
the moon
spotlighting the lake
reflecting my love
as I look for you
and you
now arriving
and walking
and my heart beating
and pounding
i lick my lips
my nervous tick
i bite the bottom one
and hold my breath
the walk down the sidewalk
to the gazebo 
seems to take an eternity
until you reach me
and then I
immediately forget
that we have ever
been apart
for even
one
second
the juices of my heart
flow with red magic
until my fingers pulse
too full to even feel you
and my eyelids swell
realizing only then
they are filled with tears
as my mouth empties
its contents of all
the words
i could not say
when your eyes 
were miles away
in 
Chicago
because I did
not trust that
it was real
even as you
so gallantly (or is it foolishly?)
and adamantly told me
that it was--
that this
was it--
the thing we humans
wait for
in life
and hope to find
and only
sometimes 
do

2.
THE ADDICT IN A LOVE TOO GOOD

You’ve been
too good
to me
and I warned you
said, “Insult me,
to even it out--
all this love is
going straight to my head.”
You wouldn’t do it though,
and so I swelled up
like a tick
full with blood
and now I barely
feel it when you
expound on your admiration
I expect it too much now
the element of surprise
now gone
and I’ve grown
entitled to feeling it
and I’ve grown
accustomed to 
your constant attention
so much so that
even once an hour
isn’t quite enough
of you
nor every second
nor is
you inside me
close enough
and I’m pretty sure
this is as close to
evil
as I’ve ever gotten
because I’m now
so gluttonous for your love
i demand it
i nag and whine
and spoil it
because 
it’s the best thing
i’ve ever tasted
and I’m
addictive 
like 
that

3.
THIS IS LOVE?

I
would have
dreamed
of this
reached for this
tried so much
harder 
to achieve this
had I ever even
conceived that
this is what
LOVE
could be
but
I had
no idea
not even an inkling
that it could be
this way
and
that is saying something
the imagination on me
is my biggest strength
and even still
not ever, not once
had it occurred to me
that I could ever be
-that anyone would ever be-
loved so fully
so intensely
so honestly
so completely
so utterly
earth shatteringly
until you came along
and snuck up
beside me
and nuzzled in to me
and broke down
every wall
I never even knew I had
until all that was
left was my heart
and a shell
bare before you
saying things like,
“So, this is love?”
Well…goddamn!

4.
NEW

you said
you were 
getting ahead of yourself
thinking so much
of the future
and trying to reign yourself in
you said,
“I don’t want to miss a single second
of falling in love with you
for the first time.”
And I thought
and I think
that is the most beautiful
sentiment I have ever heard
i feel it all the way down
from my throat to my heart 
to my chest to my pussy
which throbs in swollen
and warm delight
at the memory
because in this pinkness
and newness of 
falling in love
you also said, “this is but the beginning
-and it is good-
but it is not even the best part”
And that is important 
for me to remember
because already I am feeling
a certain sadness
for leaving
this special, amazing
moment in time
when you showed me
that love is more than
infatuation
-it is resilient and persistent
and respectful and not just
for make-believe-
no, it can be just as honest
as pain
just as true
and you 
my god, you— 
you don’t even know
the ways you’ve changed
the fibers of my being
i’m all reconfigured, re-birthed
and brand new