Andie Bottrell
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In Death I Love Thee Still

10/31/2013

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I feel them try to comfort me
I deduce it from their soothing words
So well chosen and carefully placed
And with such tender resignation
They do not stare
Though pity often creeps in the eyes
While their heads hang low with
Arms swung high

As for me on the receiving end
I feel rather circumvent
All slimy and stickless like a
Worn out child’s toy
Their words pour over me
And I recognize their sincerity
But whatever it is that is within me
Buffs and bounces back that fine
Exterior- your words wont grab
my wounds, dear soul, I’m steely
wool and rock ‘n roll

Meanwhile, at home my heart skips beats
My breath gets caught and then re-caught
Like fish thrown back in and
I can’t swim away fast enough
Before I’m caught again
Life is pulling me by the mouth
And it’s clear I’m caving in
I’ve started dripping and heaving
I lay down a lot
And sometimes I forget that
I am- instead of am not

Ho, where is the horizon line
That sun that beat upon the leaves so fine
In autumn when my sweatheart went
I felt the arms of love that fit
In absence I still search for them
And no grievance can be released until
I give up searching on earth’s grounds
Conjure strength inside to let my insides
Out

The truth, dear one, as tears roll down
In death, as in life, you’re still my son.

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    Hey! I'm Andie Bottrell, a multidisciplinary creative living in Springfield, MO. I share stories (autobiographical and fictional), poems, and other creative or personal musings here. 

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