O N E
I think maybe it's harder to fall in love the older you get
because you know yourself better--and you can articulate it better
so it's harder for others to project their fantasy of who they want you to be
on to you
*
T W O
Unrequited crushes are a slow torture
Burned up with a desire that can't be released
How do you not start punishing yourself for not being
someone they could love?
*
T H R E E
Fall hits me with a force
The cool air revives me
and awakens deep felt yearnings
I want love
and romance
sex and vulnerable
growth
I want a matured love
that seasons like wine
growing deeper, better
over years
Simultaneously, I find myself
attracted to this young bud--
not yet bloomed, not right
for me, and yet--attraction
lingers and spins into moss
that clogs the drains of my brain
It's fall
and I want to be in love
and I am trying to use the wisdom
of my previous 31 years to
talk myself out of this unrequited longing
but it is a skill I guess I have still not mastered
How to turn off attraction when it does not serve you...
If only it were as simple as just knowing it does not serve you
I long to wrap my arms around their waist
to lean on them and kiss them until our lips fall off
I want to see their eyes move as they says things to me
they've never told anyone else
I want to watch them grow and discover new truths
about them and their life and I want to make them soup
when they're sick and jump up and down with them when they're excited
I want to love freely--do you know what I mean?
Unabashedly / Unembarrassed
That's real grown up love
They're not ready for that yet
I'm barely just ready for that
But I crave it
I would be good at it
Pouring love into another person like
liquid gold
I want that
It's incredible the mental gymnastics
I can do when I'm looking for intelligible signs of love
from someone who does not love me
I can justify the whole world
for the sake of a love
that is not there
Although, I suppose,
religious people do that all the time
I think maybe it's harder to fall in love the older you get
because you know yourself better--and you can articulate it better
so it's harder for others to project their fantasy of who they want you to be
on to you
*
T W O
Unrequited crushes are a slow torture
Burned up with a desire that can't be released
How do you not start punishing yourself for not being
someone they could love?
*
T H R E E
Fall hits me with a force
The cool air revives me
and awakens deep felt yearnings
I want love
and romance
sex and vulnerable
growth
I want a matured love
that seasons like wine
growing deeper, better
over years
Simultaneously, I find myself
attracted to this young bud--
not yet bloomed, not right
for me, and yet--attraction
lingers and spins into moss
that clogs the drains of my brain
It's fall
and I want to be in love
and I am trying to use the wisdom
of my previous 31 years to
talk myself out of this unrequited longing
but it is a skill I guess I have still not mastered
How to turn off attraction when it does not serve you...
If only it were as simple as just knowing it does not serve you
I long to wrap my arms around their waist
to lean on them and kiss them until our lips fall off
I want to see their eyes move as they says things to me
they've never told anyone else
I want to watch them grow and discover new truths
about them and their life and I want to make them soup
when they're sick and jump up and down with them when they're excited
I want to love freely--do you know what I mean?
Unabashedly / Unembarrassed
That's real grown up love
They're not ready for that yet
I'm barely just ready for that
But I crave it
I would be good at it
Pouring love into another person like
liquid gold
I want that
It's incredible the mental gymnastics
I can do when I'm looking for intelligible signs of love
from someone who does not love me
I can justify the whole world
for the sake of a love
that is not there
Although, I suppose,
religious people do that all the time
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