Andie Bottrell
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meet me here ::/:: estranged

6/10/2018

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Meet Me Here
This is a vision
of what I hope to be,
to find,
to create:

It was in the way
that you sat
that told me 
you were
ready for conversation

communion
with me

your legs sat
split between
the edges of
the chair

your arms
lay down
hands with
fingers interlaced

your head bowed
slightly forward
your eyes at attention
studied in constant motion
with mine

you were here
all of you
ready to speak and to listen

ready to go deep
armed with laughter
with empathetic tears
with ears that were
connected to your heart

you spoke carefully
yet freely
you asked questions
voracious to know others
thirsty to understand how it
all works
happy to lend your tales to
this grand experiment
called life
open with your shame as with your joy
with your successes as with your failure
with your hopes as with your fears

you proved both validating mirror 
and challenging, aspirational professor
friend, shoulder, lover
growing both
younger and younger while 
older and older

we loved 
deeply
laughed like no other

our communions
took the pulse of the day
and quickened or slowed it
in a grand dance that grew our 
mutual understanding of how to
be human with other humans

we were present
most of all, above all else
we sat present 
with each other

devices off
swaying, distracting thoughts
corralled

we met eye to eye
heart to heart
cherished the chance to
hear, to hold, to heal

This has been a vision
of what I hope to be,
to find,
to create,
to be present for.

Will you meet me in this place?


*********************************************
estranged, so strange: a father, now a stranger, named
you
don't get to
say my name
as if
you know me

you never
had the pleasure

you knew me
as I started

but not who
I became

you quit
far before
then

and I
don't know you
either

I met you 
in the middle
of who you'd be

but I cannot
say your name
nor the name we
call those whose genetics
bind us

by Dad
or
by Daughter

we both stopped counting days
between when we stopped calling
stopped saying
those words

and in the absense
of those words uttered

in the silence and
empty space of a relationship
shattered

two people exist
as close as can be 
yet never farther apart

Father: his coordinates, unknown
His DNA, embedded in my
heart

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    About

    Hey! I'm Andie Bottrell, a multidisciplinary creative living in Springfield, MO. I share stories (autobiographical and fictional), poems, and other creative or personal musings here. 

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