One Week Shy of 25

If only you could see me now

My hair so butchered it actually
looks like a butcher did it
Shaved off bits along the neck
where I used a $35 buzzer
that I bought to use on my dog
and got curious
Long bits, short bits, altogether
uneven bits and
frankly, I don’t really care
It’s one of those things
(we all have them, I think)
that I revel in
The way I don’t care
about my hair
It’ll grow back

Next week is my 25th birthday
and for the first time in 25 years
I feel no expectations building
No concerns over who will or
wont be there
This is a new development for me
I’m much calmer now
If only you could see
I don’t think about boyfriends-

Worry over falling in love
having sex or about friends
breaking or keeping their promises
I’m much calmer now
I’ve relaxed into myself somehow
Realized the peace in my
solitary life and come to
appreciate it for what it is

On top of too many disappointments sits
a person, untrusting maybe, or even just
a tad bitter or cynical, but if that person
tries, as I have, to also find the positive
Well, we can be very nice people to have
around
See we don’t yell or express our dissatisfaction
in you- we’ve come to expect it of everyone
and we understand it, even if we still
silently wish things were different,
we whole-heartedly accept that they aren’t
This doesn’t make us push-overs
who can easily be taken advantage of
but rather people who can stand on their own and
not be swayed by the inconsistency of others
to act the same

I’m a rock, old friend
If only you could see me now
I’m solid, unwavering and self-assured
I have my days, sure, but I weather them
much better-
don’t worry about being misunderstood
Just do what I love
and occupy my life with as much of the good
as I can
Not expecting too much, but always
pressing forward to get what I need
to survive.