Andie Bottrell
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She Loves Him, He Knows Her Not, And His Lover Is A Castrator...

4/7/2013

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Picture
 In the natural drunkenness of the night, Caesar, Suzy for short, walks along the plank-like edge of her love interest’s apartment building’s ceiling. Her love interest, Montgomery, Gomez for short, lays inside his apartment making love to his girlfriend on a very expensive down comforter, unaware of Suzy’s presence.

HICCUP! Suzy nearly loses her balance at the sudden burst of in and out air exploding through her throat, but falls down onto the building side of the edge and slams her hip on the hard surface of the roof. She laughs on instinct of humiliation, but realizing there’s no one around which to be humiliated by, immediately shuts up and crawls into a ball of self-pity… HICCUP! The poor girl cries a loud to herself.

Inside, Gomez is pounding away at the once alluring, now all too easily predictable, Corchettalina, Crochey for short, and he screams out, “MY! MY!” while he climaxes. Crochey, manages a small hair toss, then roles Gomez to his side, decidedly finished with the event entirely, she walks, nude, into the office and at once resumes her business calls. Crochey is a highly paid Lawyer and all men fear her (she is said to have once castrated a Judge who ruled against her).

Back in bed, Gomez lights a cigar and flicks on the television for a bit of The Golden Girls, pouring a tall, thick glass of old red wine. The man knows what he likes and has an air of power about him, though he is merely the product of a wealthy family name who dried up just before he could inherit any of their wealthy cents. He doesn’t worry about money or work now because he has the Castrating Crochey on his side… and under his side, and very often above his side. He doesn’t worry about anything, actually, at all.

Quite the contrary is poor little Suzy, rocking in a ball of her own very slightly chunky self up on the roof. Suzy loves Gomez. Everything he does makes her want to pleasure him in unseemly ways and give him all of her possessions and completely devote herself to him like a slave. Suzy would do anything for Gomez, anything but tell him how she feels about him. For that would be the ultimate death wish, sure enough to do her in. No one would leave Crochy for her. She may castrate them.

Suzy, content with her self-torture for the evening, very clumsily throws herself step after step down the fire escape, as kismet would have it, just at the very moment Gomez walks to his window to flick out the remnants of his tall, thick glass of big red, which must have gone bad the year before. And wouldn’t you know, just as his toss was tossed, who enters but Suzy in a line of red wine fire and catches the splash right in her face. Well, that’s enough to make anybody flinch, and little neurotic Suzy lost her grip and fell, fell, fell, fell, fell to her near death with a dramatic scream and a CLUNK! Gomez, startled by the sounds and unable to see out the dark window, walked with a faster pace than usual outside to examine the incident, hoping for a positive outcome. Gomez always considered himself an optimist and had once reported that he’d never felt lonely, not a day in his life…. While Suzy felt lonely everyday, whether alone or not.

TA DA! Suzy managed to think, my grand entrance into your life is sure to leave a lasting impression, the kind of experience that makes for a great “how we met” story, the kind that gets turned into movies. Suzy, bloody-faced and backward boned, laid strewn on the busy street and Gomez, so white and in a terrible fright, hailed a cab right there and then and gobbled Suzy up in his arms and gently tossed her in the back seat, taking the front seat for himself and lighting another cigar for the stress, “Hiltern Hospital, please, and hurry.”


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    Hey! I'm Andie Bottrell, a multidisciplinary creative living in Springfield, MO. I share stories (autobiographical and fictional), poems, and other creative or personal musings here. 

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