the necessary thing
that sifts our beings
out of fog
and
into clarity
i’m reaching today
from inside
for something undefined
i feel it as an anger
that tenses up my face
i groan and flail
my butt in seat
my contempt as loud
and large as whales
i do not know what
saddens me
or from what seed
this anger grows
-silence-
i’m listening for answers
waiting for peace to come
the anger quiets in the absence of others
leaving only careful, lonely pause
the desire to hold on
to keep this silent moment going
uninterrupted
and pure
not ad any more confusion to it
i’m stuck in a place of
homesickness
but i’m not homesick for
any home
nor any place
i’ve ever been
not even any one
i’m aching for the things
i’ve never done
the places i’ve never been
the homes not yet lived in
i'm filled
to the beast
in anger
sadness
sickness
longing
and
-silence-
for what’s to come
the bittersweet
hanging
uncertainty
of dreams
that may come true or
simply come undone